Opportunity Costs

_ "For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”-true story!

That was a post I wrote 7 years ago this day on Facebook (thank you Facebook memories), and as obvious as that is, it hit me hard not knowing that was life, and opportunity cost. One of my biggest random frustrations is when I have a dream with a random opportunity that I don't take because I don't know I am dreaming and my natural coward-est traits act. I wake up wondering, what would have happened? Then I think, how many decisions I could have taken and how my life would have ended up differently.

It's a gamble. And a wake-up call to take certain risks. I think a lot of us aren't happy with the way our lives are, and for those who are happy, know how blessed you are.
Life is a roller coaster, as cliche as that may be. I am at a lower point on my roller coaster now. After reaching the highest point I think it will be (great job and money) I still gave up time spent with family and friends. I still wonder though if I am ever going to reach that high again.
It seems as if high school was yesterday, but thanks to Facebook I realize it was 6 years ago that I was graduating. I was a completely different person then, than I am today, but hoping I would be somewhere better.

Terrible transition, but I started dating someone I really like. And with all the chaos my life has in it right now he ended up meeting my daughter earlier than planned while saving us in a bad situation.
It's been a year since me and my daughters dad have separated, but time hasn't made it easier on me or my daughter.

But let me tell you about this guy real quick;
He's almost everything I ever wanted.... so far. And it's normal....strangely normal, no red flags, no "let's start a family" after 3 months....or wear more make-up, dress like this... It feels really good. But even though my daughters dad has dated seriously around her and she was okay with it, I apparently am a different story. I start dating and all hell broke loose today. Screaming at him to go home, "I am her mommy.....LEAVEEEE". Now he hasn't been around her often so I understand the stranger danger, acting up, not knowing what to do. But it was a bad enough tantrum to make really question what to do.

I have two options now to consider for our futures.
One: I hold my ground that this is mommy's life and he is going to be around. Risking that she will be emotionally confused and angry at me.
Or two: I only see my boyfriend when I don't have her. Risking me giving her too much power over our lives and me not ever being able to have one.

Opportunity costs. As a single parent, the weight on my shoulders of every decision I make being crucial to who she becomes is terrifying. As I still contemplate between the two options, I kind of wish I could dream about the outcomes of each.

Let me know what you would do or have done.